Genesis 2:24-
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
I love marriage.
And of course, I completely love my husband.
I think marriage is one of the most incredible earthly gifts God has blessed us with. And I feel so undeserving of that gift. I truly think it is amazing that I get to spend my life, sharing all my hopes, fears, joys, disappointments & dreams with the person I love & my very best friend. I love sharing life together. I love living together & just doing day in & day out life with my husband. Now all that to say, that may not always be my mindset. Marriage isn't easy. Especially when your husband is one who's just as strong-willed as you are. But two strong wills make a very passionate team & a team I'm so proud to be on. I'm so thankful for the gift of my wonderful husband. He is truly everything I have prayed for. When I was 13 years old, I started a prayer journal for my future husband. For 7 years I kept this journal, penning thoughts, prayers & dreams for the man I would marry. I presented Titus with this book on our wedding night & it's one of the most special possession I have. It's amazing to think how God was molding me & shaping me, even as a dreaming little 13 year old, into the woman I would become today as a wife.
I just started a new study this week called One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer. I'm not too far in it to have many thoughts yet, but this quote on the first page really stuck out to me:
"Why don't the people of God, who can tap into so much divine power, break through the barriers that keep us from experiencing an abundant relationship with Him? Why do we hesitate to push through to freedom & abundant life?"
wow.
This quote really got me thinking. As Christians, we have the opportunity to have so much from God. But like I heard in a previous study by Priscilla: God puts some blessings in our hands. But He puts others within our reach-- we have to do the work of seeking, reaching out & receiving them. We've been given such an abundance, but so often we're satisfied with just the bare minimum. The Sunday morning sermon that can be good, but by just being satisfied with that, we miss out on SO much by not continuing to dig in to what God is teaching us & taking time to spend with Him throughout the week.
For years I have struggled with a "quiet time." When it's quiet, i usually want to be in my bed either to sleep or watch tv. If I start to read, I fall asleep. So, my quiet times haven't always gone to well. Like I've said before, I'm bad about journaling (which I've learned is crucial in quiet time & growing in the Lord) & after about a week or 2, I'm done & back to where I began. As sad as it is for me to say that it's taken this long in my walk with the Lord, it's really been within the past year that I have gotten serious about daily time with the Lord. During the first few months of our marriage, Titus & I made a point to do a nightly devotion together (Sacred Marriage Devotions by Gary Thomas- love it, his book Sacred Marriage changed my life). As great as this was, I found myself depending solely on this for my time with God. My personal, one on one time with Him was lacking (well, actually, it wasn't there at all). Then I learned about Proverbs 31 Ministries. I started with daily devotion emails that are geared toward women & wives. I got in the habit of reading these every day. Since I've come back home to SC & have been involved with a women's Bible study, it's further fueled this passion for learning & growing my relationship with Christ. I seriously get so excited now to dig in my study & in God's Word to see what new truth He has to reveal to me. I love to see Him work things together & teach me truths in all aspects of my life. I loved seeing how He used my Bible courses this semester to reinforce what I was learning in my study. I just love how God works!
Going back to my marriage, I can truly say it has made me a better woman. Being a wife has really encouraged me to be the absolute best woman I can be. Having a life partner to walk beside me & encourage me, hold me accountable, pray with me, & share every life experience with me really has done something in my heart & life. I have so, SO far to go in my walk with the Lord & in my pursuit to be a godly, submissive wife, but seeing myself a year ago & where I am now-- I know God is working. I love how He has reignited my passion for Him & is giving me a wonderful way to live out what He has called me to do in being a wife. Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." I pray I will be this on Titus' head :)
Even with only a year under my belt, I can be the one to say that marriage isn't always pretty. But it is absolutely always beautiful. I'm so glad God's (& Titus') grace covers me on the ugly days. The way God puts two imperfect, selfish people together in a way to be completely selfless, taking the form of a servant to their spouse... well, there just isn't anything else in this world like it.
...except maybe motherhood, but we won't be there for a while ;)
Until next time...
Covered by His grace,
Kailee
Photo by Meghan Cavin
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