One of "those" mornings

Well, today was just one of "those" mornings.

You know, the ones where everything just seems to go wrong? I got up early to fix breakfast for the ladies in my Bible study only to find we had no eggs (Mind you, i had already been to the store twice for forgetting things for the breakfast- and my dad had decided at midnight to make muffins so... there went my eggs). After running to the store (and already running late), the oven catches on fire from the dish bubbling over. Crisis averted. I get the girls up & get ready only for my dish to be mushy & uncooked in the center as I'm walking out the door. I'm already running late, the kids are late for preschool, I'm sweating & have no make up on, trying to unload everything at the church (in the rain- OF COURSE) & then I unnecessarily snap at my husband when he calls to tell me good morning. Then I feel terrible. And to top it off, the church is on a "Daniel Fast" so pretty much no one eats my food anyway.

Whew. Yeah, well that was it. I'm thankful all mornings aren't like that. Not enough energy in my body to handle all the chaos without screaming. 

You know, I'll be one to admit that sometimes I feel like God has forgotten about me. Especially on mornings like this when I just wish He would intervene & let things go right for once. Yeah, I know He will never leave me, but sometimes it just feels like He has checked out. Like He's so busy up there taking care of all the "big stuff" & other people's problems that He doesn't really have time to be concerned with my chaotic morning. 

Well, I have news. This is a lie that satan tells us. I know that I've had a distorted view of God growing up. I haven't really seen Him as personal, sovereign, and gentle. My innate thoughts of him include one who is distant. Impersonal. Strong & to be feared. My own military-retired father was a disciplinarian who I feared, & I know my views of him have effected how I view God. While my God is certainly strong, & I should fear Him, He is certainly not distant. He tells us in His word that He is ever-present. He promises to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). He has given us His Spirit so that no matter where we are or what we are doing, He is right there inside us, always caring, listening, & involved.

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:26-27

In my new Bible study (One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer), the basis of the study revolves around the question of why so many Christians just get by & don't ever fully experience God. Just like the children of Israel as thousands wandered through the desert in search of the Promised Land but only two (TWO!) actually saw it. Really, people of God-- why are we not experiencing Him to the absolute fullest? What's keeping us from the land of Caanan, that's flowing with milk & honey, where we experience God on a far deeper level than just a sermon were taking a few notes about on Sunday morning?

As people of God, we should not be satisfied with this common, complacent, lazy way of living. We have to seek out more! He has so, so, so much more for us if we just take the work of seeking it out. Living a godly lifestyle is so not easy. It's work. It's harder than a lifestyle of mediocrity, of sin. Sometimes a sinful lifestyle can look like so much more fun. And sometimes it is more fun! At least for a while. For me, God has revealed my entertainment choices are effecting my closeness with Him. This is one I have wrestled with for a while now. I don't watch a bunch of trash. I've given up all the violent stuff because it was giving me bad thoughts. The Bachelor really isn't that bad. They're not openly having sex & talking dirty on every episode. Desperate Housewives or Mistresses isn't too terrible. Yeah it has some language, affairs, and lots of lustful behavior but it could be worse. Those R rated movies I don't flinch in that drop the F-bomb at least 20 times or where the opening scene begins with an (unmarried) couple openly having sex on screen... It's just trash. I'm ashamed to say that I have indulged, as a believer in Jesus, in this kind of entertainment. And I've liked it. The question arrises in m mind- "if Jesus were sitting here with me, would I watch this?" Well, of course not! I would never have my Lord watch these sinful & worldly practices on my television.

Ha. Like I can hide from him.

Every time I indulge in a funny romantic primetime episode, He sits with me. He knows how much I loved Bridesmaids or We are the Millers. And I know it doesn't please Him. And the more I ignore the Holy Spirit's prompting in my heart, the softer His voice will get until I don't even hear it at all. And that is definitely a place I never want to be.

Well, all this comes down to something I have given up for the first time in YEARS (yeah, it's been a while). The Bachelor. So here's the deal- during previous seasons, episodes were available the day after airing for free online. My parents don't have cable, so no big deal. Well after I started this study, I noticed that the episodes online were not available until a WEEK later. What?! So I would always be behind! Not good. I did my study on Sunday & had a long talk with God about giving this up, although I still hadn't made a commitment (after all, there were worse things I could watch & it's not like it's that bad). Well, Monday night I decide I'll just take a peek at that first episode that is (finally) available. Guess what- it's not! Still another day before it's "unlocked." Ok God, I got it. Quit with the addiction & do something better with those 2 hours on Monday nights. Because really, how often do I fail to spend time with The Lord  because I'm "too tired" or don't pray because my mind is on other things...  Obviously (thanks, God), this practice is hindering me from further experiencing a deeper, more passionate relationship with Him. And I don't know about you, but I want to experience absolutely every single amazing blessing He has in store for me. Missing out on something amazing because of a stupid tv show... now that is ridiculous.

The verse I learned many, many years ago in Bible Drill comes to mind. Philippians 4:8 says:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Well, I guess The Bachelor really doesn't qualify on that list, now does it. I'll close with this scripture from Ephesians 4:


...you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Verses 17-24

Wow. We can be righteous and holy when we put away our old practices & are aware of the things we have been taught week in and week out in church. We Christians really have to stop living so complacently. The Bible says we are to actually put into practice what we have learned. And the rewards in the Promised Land will truly be great. 

Covered by His grace alone,
Kailee